Bewerbung Englisch durchlesen

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SophiaVinter
Neuling
Neuling
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Registriert: 10. April 2019 17:35

Bewerbung Englisch durchlesen

Beitragvon SophiaVinter » 10. April 2019 18:21

Hej Hej ;)
Wären diejeniegn, die der englischen Sprache mächtig sind, bitte dazu bereit, sich mein Motivationsschreiben für einen Freiwilligendienst in Schweden durchzulesen und mir ggf. Verbesserungsvorschläge zu senden, bitte?
Danke schon mal im Voraus!

Dear team of (...), (place), 10/04/2019

my name is (...) and I am (...) years old. I live in (...)(Germany).
These year I have passed my A-Levels, so next I would like to absolve a European volunteer service in Sweden at August 2019 during 12 months.
I think this is a good opportunity to make myself useful for the public and environment.
It would be possible to learn more . myself and . other people in Sweden. Besides of that I would like to learn how to react flexible in new challenges because it is necessary for the more and more closely networked world, but also for forgetting prejudices and learning more . a positive handling with different people. In addition to that, I have relates in Sweden near (...), Värmland, and that is also a point why I am interested in learning the Swedish language and culture.

In search of a receiving organization, I have got the information from the employee (...) of (...) that you would like to host volunteers for working among other things in the (...) of the church in (...).
Your project description did make me very interested in the written topics and activities. These activities are very important and sensefull for the development of young people, so I would like to support them, please. I am willing to help on your project and connect people through my engagement. For this I am ready to bring my motivation and enthusiasm into your projects.

I have already got experiences in topics like creativity, culture and youth work. On the one hand, this is based on my activities in arts and music. On the other hand, I have absolved a basic course of the district in (...) for schooling to a youth group leader and I have got a card of a youth group leader, it is called "Juleica" in Germany. Similarly I am active as a teamer for the youth work of the church (...) in my hometown. I liked it very much to support projects of this and I learned a lot . a positive handling with young people in the past. The certificate of attendance regarding to „Juleica“ is in the apprendix.
Since three years I have given private tutoring in German and Latin at my school. So I feel competent for your project in regard to become a peer or showing responsibility for activities of the youth work.

I would be very happy if you could become my receiving organization, please. I hope for a positive answer.
If you need more information or have other questions, you cand send them.

Kind regards

(Name)

EuraGerhard
Schwedenfreund
Schwedenfreund
Beiträge: 961
Registriert: 28. Juli 2010 11:51
Schwedisch-Kenntnisse: gut
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Re: Bewerbung Englisch durchlesen

Beitragvon EuraGerhard » 11. April 2019 10:02

Hallo,

hier meine Korrekturvorschläge, jeweils in Rot:

Dear team of (...), (place), 10/04/2019

my name is (...) and I am (...) years old. I live in (...)(Germany).
This year I have passed my A-Levels, so next I would like to absolve a European volunteer service in Sweden starting August 2019 for 12 months.
I think this is a good opportunity to make myself useful for the public and environment.
It would be possible to learn more . myself and . other people in Sweden. Besides of that I would like to learn how to react flexible in new challenges because it is necessary for the more and more closely networked world, but also for forgetting prejudices and learning more . a positive handling with different people.*1 In addition to that, I have relates in Sweden near (...), Värmland, and that is also a point why I am interested in learning the Swedish language and culture.

In search of a receiving organization, I have got the information from the employee (...) of (...) that you would like to host volunteers for working among other things in the (...) of the church in (...).
Your project description did make me very interested in the written topics and activities. These activities are very important and meaningful for the development of young people, so I would like to support them, please. I am willing to help on your project and connect people through my engagement. For this I am ready to bring my motivation and enthusiasm into your projects.

I have already got experiences in topics like creativity, culture and youth work. On one hand, this is based on my activities in arts and music. On the other hand, I have absolved a basic course of the district in (...) as a youth group leader and I have received a youth group leader certificate, it is called "Juleica" in Germany. Similarly I am active as a teamer*2 for the youth work of the church (...) in my hometown. I liked it very much to support projects of this and I learned a lot . a positive handling with young people in the past.*3 The certificate of attendance regarding to „Juleica“ is in the apprendix.
For three years I have given private tutoring in German and Latin at my school. So I feel competent for your project in regard to become a peer or showing responsibility for activities of the youth work.

I would be very happy if you could become my receiving organization, please. I hope for a positive answer.
If you need more information or have other questions, please contact me.

Kind regards

(Name)

Ein paar Anmerkungen:
*1: Den Satz verstehe ich nicht. Was sollen die freigestellten Punkte, z.B. bei "more . myself and . other"?
*2: Was ist ein "Teamer"? Team leader? Team member?
*3: Das Gleiche wie bei *1.

MfG
Gerhard

SophiaVinter
Neuling
Neuling
Beiträge: 3
Registriert: 10. April 2019 17:35

Re: Bewerbung Englisch durchlesen

Beitragvon SophiaVinter » 12. April 2019 13:46

Hallo,

vielen Dank für die hilfreichen Anmerkungen.
Bei den Punkten sollte eigentlich immer "." stehen, ich weiß nicht, warum dort jetzt nur Punkte sind.
Mit Teamer ist sowohl team member als auch team leader gemeint. Kann man dann einfach sowohl team member als auch team leader schreiben?

Beste Grüße!

SophiaVinter
Neuling
Neuling
Beiträge: 3
Registriert: 10. April 2019 17:35

Re: Bewerbung Englisch durchlesen

Beitragvon SophiaVinter » 12. April 2019 13:47

Das deutsche Wort ist "über" und fängt auf Englisch mit "a" an, ich weiß nicht, warum das im Forum nicht angezeigt wird.

EuraGerhard
Schwedenfreund
Schwedenfreund
Beiträge: 961
Registriert: 28. Juli 2010 11:51
Schwedisch-Kenntnisse: gut
Lebensmittelpunkt: Schweden

Re: Bewerbung Englisch durchlesen

Beitragvon EuraGerhard » 13. April 2019 14:53

Hallo,

wieso das Forum das Wort "a b o u t" nicht mag, keine Ahnung. :shock: Bei mir wird es auch nur als Punkt dargestellt, wenn ich nicht die Leerzeichen zwischen die Buchstaben setze.

Aber gut, damit macht es Sinn. (Wobei ich das zweite "nicht schreibbare Wort" im ersten Satz weglassen würde.)

MfG
Gerhard


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